Whether it is your customers, clients, children, spouse, or the person at the post office, everyone in this world wants the same fundamental thing: We all want to feel good about ourselves.
Fortunately, we know very well how to make people feel good, and if you develop the skill of reflecting goodness to the people you interact with every day they will find themselves irresistibly drawn to you.
In the thought provoking book ‘The Power of Charm’ by Brian Tracy and Ron Arden we learn that the more important you can make people feel in your presence, the more amazing they will perceive YOU to be.
There are just five basic key behaviors, the five A’s:
Try these simple kind behaviors and see how your relationships immediately improve. Give the gift of feeling good to others freely and often!
This is the attitude of ‘unconditional positive regard’ and it is an exceptional way to approach a person. The idea is you accept that individual exactly as they are in their entirety, without limitations or judgments. You never criticize or find fault. You simply accept everything about them, with an open heart.
How do you show complete acceptance? Smile! When you smile with happiness at someone their self-esteem soars and they automatically feel great about themselves.
Each time you express appreciation to someone for something they have done, no matter if it is large or small, their self-image and self-respect will improve. Showing someone your appreciation makes them feel more valuable, important, and capable.
How do you show appreciation for others? Say ‘Thank You’! Use every opportunity you can to say thanks for things large and small. Make it your personal habit to say thank you to everyone in your life for everything they do.
And… whenever you smile or say ‘thank you’ not only are you helping to make the other person feel great about themselves, it jumps your self-esteem and good feelings way up too. So spread the joy.
Everyone has a deep lifelong subconscious need for approval of their thoughts, actions, choices, and accomplishments. The need is ongoing; no amount of approval can satisfy the need for long. Your job is to continuously seek opportunities to express approval to everyone you interact with daily.
How do you express approval? One of the best definitions of approval is “praise”. Whenever you praise someone for something they have said or done, they feel wonderful about themselves…. and warmth toward you as well.
Everyone wants to feel important, attractive, intelligent, and capable. We all want the attention and recognition of those around us. Whenever someone admires something about us we get a powerful boost to our self-esteem.
How do you show admiration? Compliments! When you give people a genuine, sincere compliment they feel acknowledged, recognized, valuable and important. So, constantly be looking for things to compliment in your clients, friends, kids, spouse, or just people you meet in a day.
Compliment great service, a trait like punctuality, an achievement, a great article of clothing, someone’s eyes or smile… You will be surprised how much a simple unexpected compliment can impact a person’s day.
This is the most important quality of all. It is the most powerful behavior for building self-esteem and good feelings in someone else. If you pay close attention to people they feel valuable and important.
How do you show attention? Eye contact! You show attention by paying attention.
Put down what you are doing, face the other person and make real eye contact. Truly listen to what they are expressing while maintaining eye contact. Be fully present with them.
These are the five most powerful self-esteem building tools ever discovered. Master them through practice and you will become an amazing personal magnet. People will enjoy your company and seek you out because they feel good in your presence.
What an amazing gift to give to everyone in your life.